Written:  Aug 7, 2022

A passing thought of self reflection:

That person you love… you might not love them as much as you love who you think they are.  You may be projecting much of yourself into the spaces they haven’t shared with you yet. There may be things they have shared that you’ve conveniently ignored or reinterpreted so you can keep liking them as you desire. If you really knew them, really understood what they thought about things, would it be hard to love them? If they shared things that bored you or worse, downright upset you, could you love them? Once their real self clearly separated from who you hoped they were, would disappointment poison your love for them? Once they defied your logic, confounded your sensibilities, would your love become muddled or muted? Perhaps you don’t love them. Perhaps you love the idea of them. Perhaps you don’t love them as themselves but only as a character in your script. Perhaps you don’t love them, you merely love yourself and how they fit into your world.

What would it mean to love them and their entire self? Would it mean a commitment to endure beyond disinterest to sincere appreciation? Would it mean learning a passable proficiency in areas they take the lead role in? Would it mean patience when offended or gentleness when confronted? Would it mean endurance when pressed beyond comfort? Maybe it would mean real self sacrifice. Maybe it would be like one friend laying down their selfishness and letting it die for the real self of their friend to be resurrected and seen and loved for what it is, for what God created it to be.