The below is a “first person” retelling of 2 Kings 1 from the perspective of one of the solders whose lives were spared. I incorporated his spouse as the conversation partner as my spouse was willing to play along. It’s a very simple recounting the day at work narrative and perhaps lacks much creativity in the retelling. It should be very clear where I elaborate details beyond the Biblical account, so I won’t point them out. Posting this here in case anyone would enjoy it or use it. It must also be noted that my wife did a much better job in her ad-lib additions than my original script and her humor carried the delivery. Also, my congregation is an exceedingly generous audience, so that helps.

1 st person account from the perspective of a soldier in the 3rd group of fifty:
Act 1: the king is dead
Scene 1: the fall & messengers
Scene 2: the interruption

Act 2: the prophet will pay
Scene 1: the advance
Scene 2: reinforcement

Act 3: the commander will pay
Scene 1: Mercy plea
Scene 2: An Angel

Act 1: Scene 1

Wife: “How was your day at work dear, you look exhausted?”

Soldier: “Well, (pause), I narrowly escaped with my life.”

Wife: “WHAT?!?!? Was there an invasion? a riot? a coup? I told you this King’s Guard duty was dangerous work!”

Soldier: “Well, (pause), the king is dead, but no one laid a hand on him.  He did it to himself.”

Wife: “Suicide?  That’s terrible!?! Why would someone so rich and …”

Soldier: “It wasn’t suicide.  It was an accident.  Well, (pause), an accident followed by a grave mistake in judgement.”

“I’ll tell you all about it, but I need to sit down, and maybe some warm tea.”

Soldier: You know King Ahaziah has only been king for what, a year or a year and a half? And ever since his father, Ahab died, Moab on the South East boarder has been stirring and clamoring. At the same time,  Aram grows stronger in the North East and there are rumors that our war with them will resume.  So the new King has much to worry over.  And perhaps that is what had him on his terrace so late that night two weeks ago.

Soldier: Now I don’t know what was clouding his mind or his vision, but he managed to take a great fall down into the lattice work from his upper room.  We have been sworn to secrecy about it all, on punishment of death, least the city know his grave condition.  His guards and servants brought him up to his bed, you remember me telling you what a huge bed the king had… Yeah, those poor souls had to lift him while he cursed and fussed in pain into that monstrous mountain of a bed.  I’m glad it wasn’t me, but Joebediah was on shift and he’s still complaining about his back.

Soldier: At any rate, that was the accident.  But the real error, little did any of us know, was what appeared to be a shrewd choice.  The king sent messengers to inquire from the priest in Ekron, the city of the Philistines, to ask their god, Baal-Zebub, known as a healing god down there. Brilliant really.  He sent them to ask a god who they say can cast off the darkness of death and blow the flies of rot into the sea.  At the same time he may be trying to shore up some much needed support from the South.  Something we may need very soon. So several messengers left to make the six day journey, but they returned after only two days!  These fools came back early, disobeying the kings orders!  They could have been killed on the spot!  But they said they ran into someone on their way.  You wouldn’t believe who it was…

Act 1: Scene 2

Wife: “Elijah?”

Soldier: “WHAT?!?! How did you know that? Are the streets safe for any secret this side of the Jordan?”

Wife: “Just an educated guess. I mean who else could convince the King’s messengers to turn back early.”

Soldier: “Well, I’m very impressed. YES, it was Elijah, the great prophet of the LORD who disappeared after the display at Mount Carmel.”

Wife: “You mean who disappeared after Queen Mother Jezebel promised to kill him?”

Soldier: “True. True.”

Well, Elijah sent king Ahaziah’s messengers right back to him with this statement:

‘Is it because there is no God in Israel that you are going off to consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron?’

Therefore this is what the LORD says: ‘You will not leave the bed you are lying on. You will certainly die!’ ”

So return they did. Obeying Elijah like he was the one paying their check. And the King of course knew they hadn’t obeyed him since they returned early. Man, was he upset. Luck for them, he is in no condition to throw anything at them.

Act 2: Scene 1

Wife: “So did the king died? Right then and there?”

Soldier: “No, if only. The messengers came back days ago. They didn’t know who the prophet was who sent them back with the message, but King Ahaziah knew as soon as they described him. They said he wore a hairy garment and a leather belt and the king knew from his Father Ahaz and the Queen Mother Jezebel that this had to be Elijah their sworn enemy. So that when our platoon got involved.”

Wife: “Oh no! The king didn’t send you down…”

Soldier: “Oh yes, he did. But we luckily weren’t the first! The first detachment of 50 troops was sent down to find Elijah and bring him back to the King. We figured they wouldn’t be able to find him as he’s been in hiding for so long. But he was right out in the open, sitting on top of the hill near where the messengers said they encountered him. “

Wife: “They didn’t confront him directly did them?”

Soldier: “They did. The commander called out: “Man of God, the king says, ‘Come down!’ ”

Wife: “This is not going to end well….”

Soldier: “The king would have done well to send you I think.”

Wife: “You’re not wrong. But how did Elijah, the prophet of the almighty, respond to the soldiers threat? He didn’t just come down I assume…”

Soldier: “No, Elijah responded: “If I am a man (אִ֤ישׁ) of God, may fire (אֵשׁ֙) come down from heaven and consume you and your fifty men!”

And fire did come down, just as he said, and consumed the commander and all fifty of his men. Just like the fire came down at Mount Carmel all those years ago.

Act 2 Scene 2

Wife: “Please tell me that the King realized that sending an Army of men, armed and ready to use force, was the wrong way to convince Elijah to come meet with him.”

Soldier: “As your mother would remind us, there are sharper knives in the drawer.”

The King, after hearing the news about the first company, just sent another company lead by someone he felt was tougher than the first! The commander of that group just went up to the hill and yelled the same thing the first did.

Wife: “REALLY”

Soldier: “Only he added “Quickly”

Wife: “Hmmm, bad move.”

Soldier: “Yeah. Same result. “If I am a man (אִ֤ישׁ) of God, may fire (אֵשׁ֙) come down from heaven and consume you and your fifty men!”

And of course, just as he said, the fire consumed them all.

Wife: “Oh my goodness. Your company got sent down also, didn’t they! I told you this job was too dangerous.”

Act 3 Scene 1

Soldier: “As I said, my life was slimly spared. The mercy we received was not because the king relented, but because of my commander. The king sent us down, armed and demanding Elijah come with us JUST LIKE the others. If it wasn’t clear after the first company perished, it was clear after the second, that the king cared little for our lives. His thoughtless pride or entitled brashness drove him to send us as a third sacrifice to his folly.”

Wife: “You might speak those words more softly if the king were alive still.”

Soldier: “Perhaps. But it was our lives that were forfeit the moment he commanded us to retrieve Elijah.”

Wife: “But your commander?”

Soldier: “Yeah. But our commander. I know I’ve complained about him and how hard he pushes us. I take every ill word back. This guy, as we approach the hill Elijah is on. This guy falls on his knees, and he begs Elijah for our lives. He says: “Man of God, please have respect for my life and the lives of these fifty men, your servants!” When he referred to us, HIS soldiers, calling us Elijah’s servants, he waved at us and we all joined in kneeling. Then he recounted: See, fire has fallen from heaven and consumed the first two captains and all their men. But now have respect for my life!”

Soldier: Then a messenger from heaven came down and spoke to Elijah! We all trembled and looked down expecting the angel to wave a fiery sword or something and call down fire or something. But after what seemed the longest minute of our lives, Elijah started slowly walking down the hill!

Wife: “Are you kidding me?”

Soldier: “NO. It happened just as I’ve said! I don’t think I have the wits after what I’ve just seen to speak but plainly. He just walked down to us. We stood up and escorted him back to the king. We felt more like Elijah’s guards than his captors. How could we feel otherwise? It was surreal. And all because our commander chose to humbly ask for mercy and acknowledge where the true power was clearly residing. The mercy of Elijah’s God saved us I suppose because the king’s hubris wasn’t softened a bit.”

Act 3 Scene 2

Wife: “Oh, I had forgotten in all this Elijah confrontation that the King is still injured up in his huge bed.”

Soldier: “Yeah. Elijah was brought to the king and the king didn’t miss a beat to demand Elijah explain himself and why did he interrupt his messengers, and why did he alway cause trouble for the throne… and on… but Elijah just raised his hand to stop him from his rant. The king stopped! Stunned like he’d been scolded by his mother herself. And Elijah simply said again what the messengers said but with an authority and clarity that pierced our ears: “This is what the LORD says: Is it because there is no God in Israel for you to consult that you have sent messengers to consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron? Because you have done this, you will never leave the bed you are lying on. You will certainly die!”

{Pause}

Soldier: And then he did. He died. He just died without warning. In a moment, the kings attendants were hurrying around to try to revive him. The commander and the few of us that were in the room stepped back and we watched Elijah simply walk out. I saw the commander bow his head a bit as he left. We waited for a bit while the kings servants worked, worried, and wept but after a time the commander sent us home to rest.

Wife: “I’m glad you are safe and home. You deserve a rest.”

Soldier: “I think I need to say a few prayers tonight. I think Elijah is right. There is a God in Israel to consult. I’ll clean up and we should spend some time thanking him for his mercy today.

Wife: “Amen… Then after our prayers we can discuss finding for a better job for you.”